The Art of the Follow-Up: How to Get What You Need (Without Becoming "That Person")

We’ve all been there: staring at an inbox, waiting for a crucial update, feeling the pressure mount. You need that information, that deliverable, or that answer—and you need it soon. But how do you chase it down without sounding demanding, unprofessional, or just plain rude?

The truth is, following up is an essential skill. It keeps projects on track, ensures deadlines are met, and clarifies expectations. But there’s a spectrum of how to do it, and knowing when to be polite and when to be firm is an art.

When Politeness Pays Off: Building Relationships & Trust

For most situations—especially initial follow-ups or with trusted colleagues—politeness is your best strategy. It maintains goodwill and assumes positive intent. Think of it as a helpful reminder, not a confrontation.

6 Polite ways to follow up:

• Could you please share an update on this when you have a second?

• Just checking in to see if you need any help getting this finished.

• I wanted to keep this at the top of your mind for when you’re free.

• Whenever you have a moment, I’d love to hear how this is going.

• Just a friendly reminder that we’re aiming to finish this by Friday.

• Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make this easier for you.

These phrases are designed to offer support and keep the door open for communication without creating resentment. They assume the other person is busy, not negligent.

When "Rude" Becomes Necessary: Setting Boundaries

Sometimes, politeness isn't enough. When deadlines are missed repeatedly or a critical path is blocked, you might need to be more direct. In a professional context, "rude" often translates to being blunt and strictly business. This isn't about being mean; it’s about being clear about consequences.

6 Direct (or "Rude") ways to follow up:

• I need an update on this right now.

• This is overdue and you are holding up the entire project.

• I’ve asked for this multiple times now. Where is it?

• If I don't get this by the end of the hour, I’m calling your boss.

• Stop ignoring my emails and send the work.

• Since you haven't replied, I'll assume you aren't doing your job.

These are for situations where polite requests have failed and the delay is significant. They are assertive and set clear expectations. Use them with caution, as they are designed to prioritize results over the relationship.

Finding the Balance

Navigating the follow-up tightrope is a constant challenge. The key is to match your tone to the urgency of the task and the history of the person you are messaging. By mastering both ends of this spectrum, you ensure that your work stays on track while knowing exactly when to turn up the heat.